I've moved. Update your links to www.lost-avenue.blogspot.com, yo! :)

I think I want to go into journalism. :)

And damn, I can't wait to go overseas.

Badly need a change of scenery, it's too stifling here.

Sky High.

For some reason, I'm into Milo now.
*hums "It's marvellous what Milo can do for you!"*

Anyway, know how I haven't gotten my groove? Yeppers. Last night I was prepared to study then I looked through the past year PS papers and man, they scared me so much that I went straight to bed, curled up under my blanket. Hahaha makes for a funny sight, man.

But seriously. The questions were tough! I just realized that I really won't be able to bluff my way through. Only just realized it. *slaps forehead* And all this has to happen just when my confidence in PS as a major was boosted.

And now I can't sleep. I can't quite study because I'm scared and there seems to be so many information that I can't process it and I dare not focus on this because what if that comes out.

Aah. The familiar ramblings of last minute work.

I even went shopping yesterday! Bought myself a denim dress. Aaaaaah.



----------------------
The loves of my life:





- These two shots were taken this morning. I was bored, yo! I have a video of me disturbing Gandos while she was sleeping, because I can't leave people sleeping in peace, I tend to disturb and shake and irritate them. I think it runs in the family because for as long as I can remember, my sisters never let me sleep in peace and my mom, well, she simply nags at you til you get up just to shut her up, haha.

My mom surprised me with that on my table a few days ago. :)

But now she's in KL. She'll be there til next Friday I think and that feels like ages.

After my exams, we're going to Jakarta, whowee!

I'm tired. It's not from studying, because I haven't been doing much of that, but I'm just tired. Haha see yaa!

Unhappy thoughts aside,

I have yet to start studying.

Tomorrow, honeys, I resume my membership with AmoreFitness. I've decided to give it a go, again, because TrueYoga - albeit a very lovely place - is just too darn expensive. Especially with the two year contract.

So yeah. It's back to Amore for now. I can stop whenever I want to if I decide I don't like it anymore. What sparked this off? Partly the fact that I'm too lazy an ass to exercise on my own accord and because I miss kickboxingg! Although tomorrow's morning class is BellyBlitz [an incorporation of bellydance and aerobics] so maybe instead of toned thighs, I'll start off with a toned stomach, yeah? Yeahh.

Another reason to resume exercising is so that I can tire myself out so much that at night, I'll just fall asleep without much thought. Heh.

Attempts to study at Starbucks have been relatively futile because the outlet has so many pretty things [the mugs and stuff] that I start imagining how I'm going to decorate my own home when I grow up and then I get pissed that I don't have the moolah to buy those items. Hahaha. And the hot chocolate & caramel drink there is sooo good. :D

But milo still tastes better. :)

But oh, baby, you make me so sad and I just don't know why.

There have been so many unpublished entries in my blog lately that..I just don't care anymore.

I'm too jaded and I just want to go somewhere far, far away.

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a slow torch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning

So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep

It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here no there

Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

Everything is cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it

Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin' at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain

Runaway train never comin' back
Runaway train tearin' up the track
Runaway train burnin' in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same

Amidst the big mess surrounding my political science essay submission with the threat of penalizing me for a late submission [which it wasn't, by the way,] :

Dear Norshahira:

I have reviewed your essay and surprisingly it is a good job compared with the majority of other students. So I decide to give you the score you deserve purely reflected from what you have done in the paper.

Best!

Gao Dexiang, Darren
Graduate Student by Research,Political Science
National University of Singapore
Mail Address:
POLITICAL SCIENCE
ARTS & SOCIAL SCIENCES,NUS
11 ARTS LINK, AS1 4TH LEVEL
POST BOX 56
SINGAPORE 117570

Alhamdullilah. :D. Getting an okay grade for my other paper has also boosted my confidence in the upcoming exams. In the quest to become a PS major, I figure I now need to boost my confidence in speaking up in class. Remember all the times I really dreaded attending tutorials because man, the other students there were intimidating yet respectable at the same time.

I want to be like them. I want someone else to look at me and say, "Wow."

Past few days have been filled with unwinding. Going out with the girls to Sofra [and I actually said no to DXO, heh. =P] and later sampling funnily-flavoured ice-cream. I had the apple pie and horlicks flavours, same as Theresa.

Was good fun meeting them and catching. A really great evening. :)

I'm plenty tired.

Sleeping at 6am in the morning only to wake up a few hours later - gotta say, it's the first time ever I've done that. But hopefully all that hard work is going to be worth it. I'm very proud of my essays and let's pray that pride will be well placed, heh.

I drove to school twice this week, after two late nights [early mornings?] due to working on those two essays. My babies. The second time was a much much better attempt with no Malaysian buses bullying me and with me driving in the fastest lane and cutting the timing I had taken during the first time by about ten minutes.

Thursday. Is. Finally. Here.

First essay submission on Monday, SS test on Wednesday and second essay submission today followed by tuition [but I got my pay, yo!] made up for an exhausting few days.

*screams*

Done. (:

Hey.

I'm taking a break from my PS essay which is kinda already overdue because we're supposed to submit it to our tutor first before the lecturer. We're submitting it to our lecturer on Monday and today's Saturday and I'm only at page 4 of my essay. SIGH.

So far, the content of my essay has been on American culture, which I think is the easiest..I have yet to touch on economic, spiritual and political sense.

Oh! I want to bake waffles. But..when? Sometimes I think I try to do too many things at once and I tend to not prioritize very well, heh heh. Then again, it could be I'm just wanting to challenge myself, ya know? Like..doing things last minute and seeing how far I can stretch myself then.

Then again, it could be bull.

------------------------------------

If I told you a secret, you won't tell a soul
Will you hold it and keep it alive?

"And...
Let her cry, if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing, if it eases all her pain
Let her go, let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be."

BodyShop Warehouse Sale

Today was a day of good girlfriend loving with dear Shaza. Headed over to Suntec City Convention Centre in the wee hours of the morning to battle with the other shoppers for some delightful wares from The BodyShop - where you can apparently save up to 70% off! Hehehe. The first picture above shows what I bought: a Vanilla fragrance, a Chocolate eyeshadow and three nail polishes [one pale pink, one orangey-bronze and the other a deep, seductive (I hope!) red].

Other pictures below..well let's just say that we've hardly gotten the chance to go out, just the two of us ladies. It was fun trying to converse in German along the way. Hahaha.

The last picture below? Well, it was drizzling out and was really really cold but I love how the clouds cover the top of the buildings. :)

Sapphire faded jeans

Firstly, last Sunday, after Parkway, my family and I headed over to Pasir Ris - Gallop Stables. I have lots of pictures of the horses [or ponies?] which I won't upload here but man, do I love horses. :D

Unfortunately Gallop Stables is a far cry from the stables I remember from KL and Vancouver. My sister was so sure they mistreat the horses there because some looked really skinny but..well, we'll see.

Although she's right with saying that there's something wrong with the picture. Horses shouldn't be tied up. They should be allowed to roam free or even so, I doubt Singapore has the resources to let them completely enjoy themselves.

That aside..Monday was Shaza's birthday! K, the plan was to blindfold her upon meeting then head over to her house. It was a surprise birthday, together with her family. :D We had to delay her downstairs for a while..because the guy-who-had-the-cake was still showering. And he takes a long time to shower! Poor Fahmi. Then, following her sisters' plan, we detoured around the estate - climbed so many flights of stairs that I lost count before finally bringing her to her door step. Her family was so enthusiastic! Her aunt [I think] actually carried her piggyback into the house and made her step on some of the balloons there. It was all dark and she was screaming, balloons were popping, everyone was laughing and oh boyy, it was so fun! Like enormous fun! And the song 'Dancing in the Moonlight' was playing on my laptop at that time, so, yay! That's her favourite song..I think she teared up. :D

Oh later on, the plan was to watch 'Stomp the Yard' on dvd but the conversations we had were much more fun. RIGHT, Huda? Hehehe.

The food was incredible. Shaza's mom bakes an awesome strawberry cake! We couldn't get brownies because Diana messaged me on Sunday night saying she couldn't bake them but it was okay because again, her mom came to the rescue. Hahah. Lucky Huda was able to get the ice-cream at the last minute as well. :D We were spoilt for choice when it came to the food. There was yummy fried chicken, sinfully chocolatey brownies, a strawberry cake, spaghetti [thank you, thank you], bee hoon, suji, bananas, oranges and ice-cream. I think that's it. Fuyo! Haha. Oh! Supposed to have Poppycock but hmmmm, I wonder what happened to that. ;)

Hasyim sang, Fahmi played the guitar. Afterwards, I left around 9.30pm but the rest headed out to Coffeebean.

Wir haben viel Spaß gemacht!

Speaking of, or rather, IN German [wahaha I'm so corny!] the oral test just now went okay. The dialogue bit was really good and she herself said that we were the best she had heard so far but but but for the individual bit, I messed up a little because I forgot about speaking in Perfekt. Oh well, no use brooding about it now that it's overrr!









Fun stuff aside, there's alot of thoughts now in my head...
I think I just need to take a chill pill to remind myself of who I really am and what I want in life.

Cos tonight, we'll drink to youth and holding fast to truth.

Blogger is driving me crazy.

On this beautiful night,
we'll make everything right-
My beautiful love.

Hey you sexymuffins. I haven't been updating because for some really strange reason, I can't view my blog so that pretty much put a damper on my mood but I realize that everyone else can, so okayy. (:

Last night was good fun, spending it with Este and the guys. Felt kinda weird amidst them but Izzat was sweet later that night over MSN. I'm still really touched by what he said. It was unexpected words from him which I appreciate. Shaza and I didn't stay long, cause of my curfew, [what else], but she was craving for strudel so we dropped over at Ritz before going home. You know what the really funny thing is? I had charged my camera, all ready to take lots of pictures at El-Sheikh and I remember Este mentioning that we had to take a picture - us girls - but we didn't. So over at Ritz, the first thing we did was to snap a picture. After ordering of course. Shaza and I had a mini-quarrel before we met up but I kinda liked that quarrel. Haha you know your life is messed up when you actually enjoy a quarrel, huh? Oh. I liked it because it was one which both of us expressed our thoughts on a particular issue and we both said it with tact and err, diplomacy. <3 that girl!

Hasyim sent us both home. I suppose that was sweet too especially when you think of where he lives. And to think that he hadn't even been there with us all along.

Next week's going to be hectic. Something's happening on Monday which no, darling, I'm not telling [no matter how much I'm itching to!], two essays to submit, German oral on Wednesday, and a History test coming up. But yes, let's keep our fingers crossed that come Monday, we'll have a very happy missy among us. =)

*I know what's gonna happen! I know what's gonna happen!*

Sorry, I had to lepaskan my geram. And no, honey, not to you. Haha.

This morning, tuition lasted 3 hours but honestly? I hardly felt the time. I think because I was happily immersing myself into Loci and managing to solve a particularly difficult question made me feel really smug [hehehe] and tomorrow I start a new tuition, yay!

Sexy love
All the things you do

Next week I can't skip any lectures or tutorials because I've lost a bet. Heh. I'm in love with the song Sexy Love by Ne-yo. I know, it's relatively old and the words are err, just too darn horny [you know how I go for da lyrics] but the song is just so..steamy. Haha.

Check out the video, yo!

Maybe a greater thing will happen, maybe all will see -
Maybe our love will catch like fire, as it burns through me.

This morning my mom woke me up at 7am because one of my relatives had just passed away. Albeit not close, because we're not direct relatives and my dad doesn't spend much time with that side of his family, I knew her. Well enough to actually know who she was, to know her family members, to know that they're simple yet very very kind people and to feel sorry.

Death has a funny way of reminding you that "Hey! You're not invincible. This is going to happen to you too. It's just a question of whether it's sooner or later."

Sometimes we need that reminder to sort of, pull us back to earth. That slap serves to remind us to be humble.

Yesterday I watched the malay news. Pertapis Female Centre has relocated. The new premises look alot better, I'm glad they got it. And I figure it's high time I brushed up on my malay.

And if I ever got another chance I'd still ask her to dance.

We were bored in the train on the way home, haha. I think she has a picture of me while I was asleep though.

Okay anyway, here's what I have to complete by tonight:

1. Print SS L8 notes
2. Start on SS readings
3. German lecture homework
4. Work on Globalization's essay

Today Kiki ate her medicine like a good girl. Took only one attempt on my part. =)

This morning we ate at Jalan Kayu. Supposed to go to the nearby reservoir but I felt stuffy so we went all the way back to Parkway. His first time there, haha. Then we dragged our feet to the beach because we were tired and wanted somewhere to sit.

You know, at times, especially now, [even now] my heart feels like it's breaking over what I've done. And I'm still plagued by doubts. Doubts because I think I made the most unfair decision in the whole world. Everything moved so fast - letting go of my best friend, hurting him.

And I'm still sad. Something's wrong in the equation. Shouldn't I be happy? I am, for the most part. But there's a part of me that's still sad over letting go of all that had meant so much to me.

I fell too fast, I feel too much,
I thought that you might have, some advise to give, on how to be insensitive.

Three books down. Three books to go.

Tell me why why why it has to hurt so much.

[Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me
No you don't mean nothing at all to me
Do you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me]

I could be your favourite girl

If I could be sweet,
I know I've been a real bad girl -
I didn't mean for you to get hurt
Forever, we can make it better
Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?

Let the people stare,
cause we are who we are.

Okay let's see. Fridays are my off days. I had this inkling to get back on track with Amore and be able to use their gym too because they had always been the most affordable fitness centre in Singapore [I think] but now they've upped their prices to almost twice the initial price - albeit with several more benefits - but STILL. Now I'm back to the drawing board on deciding on how to keep myself fit.

But you know, everytime I sign up with them in the past, I feel a little sad that I'm actually spending money to be cooped up in a class when I can probably enjoy similar benefits for a lot less outdoors. And I'd rather not commit myself to any contracts of other fitness centres [if i'm not wrong, Amore still isn't contract-based] until I'm pretty sure I can afford regular classes comfortably. I really long to experiment with yoga, pilates and maybe kickboxing once again. (:

That aside, I went to the library at Orchard on Wednesday with good ol' Shimmy. Borrowed two books, each one a trilogy so I kinda have six new books to read now. Yay! After town, we went all the way to Pasir Ris Park and found this great place, The Blue Hut. We merely ordered can drinks [which cost $3 each BY THE WAY] and we couldn't eat cause it wasn't halal but the place itself was really very nice.

Yesterday was kinda a really bad day for me. I think it had to do with how worked up I was over Kiki and now that my mom has left for Jakarta, I'm the one who has to give her her medicine and it's hard. Really. It just makes me so sad to have to do that to my cat [cat's don't simply eat their medicine, by the way] and it makes me so sad to see her become weaker and weaker as the days pass.

And I don't know how to make her feel more comfortable, really I don't. I don't know if I'm irritating her when she just wants to be left alone or if I'm actually doing it right and showing her I love her.

Anyway, I've removed the StatCounter tracking thingie. I didn't see the point of attempting to turn everything into a popularity poll.

Aah, yesterday was the final day of the 'Masih Ada Harapan' workshop [check out page 2 of yesterday's BH!]. I felt so lethargic. Probably because before the actual event, I was left waiting for my friends at Kallang. THAT, combined with the day I had really made me feel like crying and I'm just glad I had Shimmy to keep me company. Over the phone, but company nonetheless.

----

Okay, just finished my CS report. I'm really proud of it. =) It took me slightly over three hours to do just four pages but I had fun immersing myself in work for a change.

Oh, life goes on,
& it's only gonna make me strong.

Okay, a few overdue pictures of my journal. (: Isn't it pretty?

Thanks again, Shimmy! :P I think I only just decided to take pictures of it because I'm so free right now [well, not really] and I just penned my virgin entry in there.



So you see - I can only bake so many cookies at one time since my oven at home is positively miniscule.

Last night we watched FlightPlan together. Ooh it's good! I love movies with a twist.

And I'm in the process of baking a fresh batch of cookies. (: This time, they're slightly bigger in size and I love them! They look cute. I'm not too sure about the taste though, but I just know that they look delish! =D

Adorable little round thingies with uneven itsy-bitsy chocolate bits poking out!

I'm eating them right now. I think they taste o-kay, seeing how I have low expectations of my own baking. I don't dare trust my friends' tastebuds either because I still think they're trying to "be nice". =P

She's no you.

But, you know, I spent a long time baking those cookies [less than half the batter has been used up because it took me over three hours of anxious hovering over the oven] and at least I had my trusty laptop and dvd - The 40-Year-Old Virgin - to keep my company.

So it has been a busy couple of days. Went over to Nat's house [at Bayshore, WOW!] this morning to do our German dialogue and recording. Spent a really exasperating three hours there because the programme was a little messed up. But the view from her apartment made it for it. :)

ALL the cookies have been eaten up. :D

I'm not too sure why I am no longer able to view my pictures on Imageshack. Does anyone know why?

Grrr. It's annoying.

Just hold me close to you...

I'm feeling great right now. I'm loving my new journal too. Thank youu. (:

I went to Orchard library for the first time ever just now. Although I didn't quite make it to the study or the books section, we [my cs1105 groupmates and I] were at the Cafe, just discussing our project. The meeting was short - took less than an hour but we spent the rest of the time talking about our past years at JC or for them, before they moved here, when they were still in China.

Anyhoo, yeh. Just feeling darn good. Must be because Ki's looking healthier. You know, she was always my study partner? Every night, without fail, she'd be somewhere nearby, falling asleep in all sorts of peculiar poses. I miss her, I love her.

Such a lovely place,
Such a lovely face.

Her mind is tiffany-twisted, she got the mercedes bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget.

Yesterday night we went out together as a family for dinner. It's reallyy funny. Noreen suggested going to Jalan Kayu but I protested because I was having a stomach ache so I wanted to go somewhere nearby - Abah decided on Changi Airport but every restaurant there was wayy too crowded so we ended up eating at Macs. By that time, my stomach ache was gone so we decided to go for a drive all the way to Seletar [near Jalan Kayu] and we detoured back to Pasir Ris Park before reaching home at nearly midnight.

Oh my dad is a HUGE Eagles fan. He kept playing Hotel California in the car yesterday. Like, really several times!

I slept with Noreen last night. I didn't dare sleep alone. Not going to say why here but some things really spooked me and I'm still very spooked right now and I hate this feeling but I think I'll be bunking in with her again tonight.

Kiki went for the dialysis again this morning. The vet said she's doing well but please continue to pray for her.

You knoww..I'm really touched when people actually ask me about her. Haha, my baby whaat.

"Masih Ada Harapan" meeting at Muhammadiyah just now.

East Coast. East Coast. East Coast. Can anyone not love the beach?

"Teroka Seni" meeting tomorrow, Computing module meeting tomorrow.

I wonder when I'll actually work on my PS essay. Heh.

The barbeque
Cookin' everything from butts to guts -- and sometimes nuts.

Firstly, I gotta say that this is a really picture-heavy post. So if you're not interested, don't bother scrolling down, lol. It's just how we spent today as a family - preparing a barbeque dinner. =)

So that's us at the supermarket. The lion dance troop..my sister is terrified of them. She has this strange phobia. When they passed by, she was hiding behind all of us, her face red, making weird noises that sounded like little screams and she was tearing up. Kesian right?! But yeah. She's always had a phobia of lion dance troops. It was especially funny just now because when they passed, we were actually in the middle of a dispute over what items to get and when they did pass and she started her reaction, we all stopped and started laughing. Hahah.


Yeah. We've been busy. My eldest sister is the Master Chef in our house. She comes up with all these incredible, fabulous recipes and we just savour the outcome. And see! I tried to help! "Ok Ira, you sayang the chicken enough already." And she gave me this LOOK when I suggested removing the skin so we could have skinless chicken. Haha.



Do the pictures make you hungry? It made me! I was wondering how anyone can cook when I was already so tempted to start eating. First one is the fruit salad, second one the marinated chicken and the third, bee hoon in the making!

Ok sidetrack! That's Kiki's medicine. So kesian, right? But we managed to hide it within her food and she ate it all up. =D Good girl!



Anyway, the barbeque itself started at 8pm:



Presenting the Master Chef.. & Miran tried to grill his papadom!




"Get me a bucket of water, just in case!"
"No but look! There's a pond!"
[I swear, the kids had more fun messing about.]








Baby Ismail, Amir, Amirah. [Amir and Amirah are twins! Adorable, huh? =)]



Happy faces, happy stomachs. =)

Yepp, that's about it. Lovely day for a barbeque, though it was a VERY spontaneous decision. But I think everyone had fun and it gave us a great chance to just meet up and spend some time together before they went back to KL. If it had been one day earlier, Myrza and his family would have been able to join us but he's gone back to Perth so OH WELL.

Maybe next time we'll get Azmir AND Myrza. [Azmir, you hearread?!]

So much for losing weight with that jog this morning. Was it only this morning? Sheesh.

Auf Wiedersehen! =)